Cheers to the freaking weekend, I drink to that...

On Friday 3 February, the school organised a Chinese New Year staff party at a Chinese restaurant near my place. We started off at Gabi’s flat, which is in the building next to mine. I’m not sure whether I’ve ever mentioned Gabi before: she’s a primary school teacher who works with Clare. She’s got a boyfriend, Tom, who teaches literature at a university in Shanghai.

Anyway, we started drinking at Gabi’s and went to the staff party, being already a bit tipsy. I was perfectly fine until... I drank some baijiu! Now, for those of you who are not familiar with Chinese culture, baijiu is THE national drink in China. It is basically distilled from sorghum and can have up to 60% alcohol by volume. This is the most disgusting drink you will ever taste on this planet! Ugh! But you drink one shot and you’re off your face... So was I, after I had ten shots! I know, I know, you’re thinking ‘why would anyone have ten shots of this crap?!’ The thing is once you’ve got this horrible bleach taste in your mouth, it’s too late, you might as well keep on drinking it... or so said Tom – as in hunky Tom from school, not Gabi’s Tom – and as I’m very weak, I just followed his lead... The sad thing is that because of this bloody baijiu shit, I basically can’t remember anything from that night! Honest! When I try to think about what I did, I only have random pictures of me talking about Hemingway with Gabi’s boyfriend – WTF?! – or me singing a song in front of everyone – OMG!? – but I can’t remember which one... It’s pathetic! I was completely pissed! I don’t even know how I managed to make it back home...

The next day, I woke up with the awful bleach taste in my mouth, and asked Clare if I had made a fool of myself. She basically said yes but everyone there had had so much to drink that no one will probably remember anything from that night! Phew, I was safe!

The next Monday morning, I bumped into Katie – a primary school teacher – who asked me with a smile ‘how are your lips today?’... Then I got really worried! What the f*** did I do on Friday night?! She laughed and, as I expected her to tell me that I spent the night snogging random people, she said I kept complaining about my dry lips and asked around for some lip balm... WTF?! I was definitely off my face! And the worst was when one of my Year 13 students came to me on the same Monday morning and asked me ‘What were you on about on Friday night when I saw you?’... I couldn’t remember seeing him AT ALL! He said that I came up to him in the street and started going on about how I was pissed from a bloody staff party but how happy I was, and so on... I was SO embarrassed!